I made it clear I still wanted us to keep trying but she said she didn't think it would work out and wasn't in love with me anymore. I just wondered if there was any advice on what happens now? I will keep applying the no conctac rule. Keep the Faith . Whatever the case if your ex boyfriend hasnt contacted you yet dont freak out. It looks like you had a horrible breakup and developed a bad mentality toward your ex. After all, he made the decision to end things. Remember, your main goal here is to get your ex back and in order to do that communication is key. My point is that you never know when he could contact you. For example, if you go into this and literally think to yourself: You know what, he doesnt owe me a thing. Things got hectic with my daughter, her fiance and child moving in with us with my 2 sons who also live in my home. Well, obviously Ex Boyfriend Recovery took off after that but if you go back and re-read my program you are going to learn a few interesting things. Im really hurt about the fact that she could move on so quickly, but do keep wondering all the time if no contact is the right approach, and keep wondering even more if she is missing me and doing all these things just to get over me. Beware of that. Good luck!! I just dont know why he keeps calling and at this point Im worried that if I talk to him I will lose control of my emotions and would have to start back over again if he decides to not want to be in a relationship and just wants to be friends, which Im not interested in since he did play a father figure role with my daughter and I just dont want to confuse her. Read this before contacting the mod team. They have to be committed to doing so. Dumpees assume that dumpers are coming back around, but most of the time, dumpers are showing interest and expressing themselves strongly only because they want reassurance and help. Hi V, so I would suggests that you reach out at day 30 since you were getting along well. How do I tell him all this for a second chance? Ok, so most men are more than happy to feel victimized if they were the one who had to initiate the breakup. Believe me when I say it takes a man who is incredibly stubborn to not contact you during a 30 day NC period. As Ive written about multiple times in my experience, ex boyfriends have a tendency to contact you at the strangest of times. Or maybe for him is over? Secondly, you cant just sit around and expect no contact to do all the work. Yes, if he does contact you that means deep down there is a part of him that misses you. I told her again Id support her and wait until she was ready Ill always be here for her and I like her for who she is with and without problems it didnt matter to me because I like her. Common. Neither of us have contacted one another. 3. This exists in a variety of different forms. If you still have hope, you want your ex to remember you for your good qualities and behaviors. Be mindful of your response to their text. If anything, they are going to use you to get over you, and then discard you when they meet someone else. You see, men and women are very similar in many respects. They Are Obsessed With You - Why My Ex Blocked Me: If someone has blocked you and they have done so by going out of their way, then you should be amazed because they are not ignoring you; they are obsessed with you. But then again, you dont want your ex to think about you in a bad light. Find someone who respects and appreciates your needs. Thus, many women feel almost entitled when it comes to men talking to them. If you ever talk to her, it should be her idea not yours. He doesnt speak until today. Probably after few days or week either she is gonna sent you fren request again or even call you back .C. And that lesson is that you need to invest in yourself and let your ex be free. Do I reach out? Your reply to your ex should be short and sweet. We broke up on a Sunday and whilst I said i thought there was something to fight for he was clear wed made a choice to part ways and that was right. Or should I try to reconnect and sort things out with her.. Let's look at a few other benefits of following the no contact rule. My ex boyfriend broke up with me two months after we moved in together after an argument. So, they are probably going to be thinking of the whole no contact experience as a game. You start off with really high hopes that throughout this process he will end up contacting you. In fact, a lot of readers love when I go on one of my tangents about how important it is to be logical. However, there is also a time where it is very important to be emotional. When your ex contacts you during no contact it is important you don't reply right away. It could be that they want to keep tabs on you, or they're hoping to get back together with you one day. Thats a given, since they are experiencing a wide array of relief-powered emotions. This is the first step. He wanted to meet and said that he understood that he loves me but is not ready to propose. In other words, they get addicted to the compliments and admiration they get in a relationship and they convince themselves that the girl has to do all the work. Read the articles about your first reach out text. This may spark an interesting debate though because if an ex boyfriend is using his own silence to hurt you does it mean that he would ever consider a reconciliation? If a guy has broken up with you the emotions he is going to experience after the breakup may cause him to feel like he was the victim. Well, one thing that you can automatically assume is that a guy who doesnt contact you during the no contact period always has a bit of stubbornness to him. We both, at times, lied to each other when discussing being with other people (we both have now), but I still wish to continue to fight for her, despite her moving out, her not knowing what she wants and more.do I go no contact now? What we need to do is to break this undesirable association. How else can you meet other interesting and more beautiful girls if you're hanging on the memory of an indecisive girl. If you don't unfriend your ex from facebook, you are going to end up looking at their profile sooner or later. Eventually she got tired of me. How long do you recommend I do no contact before reaching out? 4. The dumpee is no longer in the dumpers mind by being out of her sight, and the dumper can freely enjoy her new relationship without facing the guilt and remorse for leaving the dumpee for someone else. That will surely make your ex think less fondly of you and force your ex to move on with more determination and fewer doubts. This is oftentimes for the best as unhealthy, abusive, and stagnant relationships need to end. 1. Hey April I would say that you need to complete 30 days minimum or 45 max before reaching out, Hi, we have been together for 8 months. Yes, there are time where you have to view it as a game (the talking phase, getting your ex back, etc.) Doesnt have socials. Or it definitely etely over for him? People typically talk about defriending as a way to express their hurt . Besides, sometimes you will have to message your ex first and earn the right back to get him to message you. Im just wondering whether I should give up and never contact him again. Another thing is that i have also been dealing with so much anxiety and she caused me this. People usually show us who they really are by their behaviourswe just dont always want to see it. When you were a small baby and they neglected you for even a few seconds what did you do to get their attention? Let him decide if he wants to be with you. youll need to understand the process we teach) so if you dont have that foundation I highly recommend you check out my best selling program to get it. They will sit around and say, Hes going to have to text ME first if he wants a date with me.. He left. I tried to reconcile with no avail. He messaged me (1 time) 7days after the NC started, I responded him 4 days after message. The ultimate purpose of the no contact rule. All I have to say is, Karma is a bitch good luck with AIDS you hoe. Hello Zan, Its crucial to retain your dignity and self-worth in your exs eyes when he or she says you arent good enough. Firstly, it puts you in control. I am happy to advise on either path that you choose, but you need to think if this is a person who is worth your time and effort. They would have to date hundreds of people for that to happen. And if he doesnt feel it, then maybe he just doesnt love me like he would love another woman. Been blocked / unfriended on social media by an ex after months of NC By AL031, 6 years ago on Breaking up 6,574 Hi, I just need some help understanding what could be going through my ex boyfriends mind. In the beginning he was periodically call me and text me very little now that Im at this point he has been calling me every day as often as multiple times a day. They might want to be friends, they might want reconciliation, or they might want validation. Anyway, your ex wont forget about you during no contact just because youll give your ex some space to breathe. For example: - You were distant and did not successfully communicate with your ex I just control my anxiety and she did not bother helping me get through it even if it was her fault why i developed this. I walked away not because I dont love her (till now i really do) but its because I wanted her to focus on the things that she wants in life. I have no idea but my ex did the same thing, 5 months after our last talk, he blocked me. The idea of co-parenting with a narcissist does not exist. I was at a friends party and her sister put on their stories of them drinking and she looks so happy, is she over me? Then you are going to be extremely disappointed and depressed if stuff like this doesnt happen at all. This article is amazingread it every day as long as it takes for you to stop enabling her. Your job as a dumpee, therefore, is to allow your ex to relieve pressure, anger, or guilt and enjoy life without interruptions and reminders of you. I guess the two go hand and hand dont they? Thats good because you dont want her to think she can walk in and out any time she wants to. You need to be aware of that so you dont let your ex lead you on and discard you when youve served your purpose. A few months ago I got a message from a woman whose ex hadnt contacted her during her no contact period. You are worthy of love. It's All About Getting Control To Deal With Your Ex This is where No Contact is important. I think too many women are conditioned by society to think that making the first move on a guy is wrong. In all, there are 3 legitimate reasons that come to mind. Its been 5 months and no contact. In reality, it delays the time it would normally take to get on talking terms, because they associate all negativity, such as your neediness and the new anger they feel as a result of your persistence, with you. That would be impossible as they had a close connection with their ex and created a lot of memories. Essentially what I am going to be doing here is bridging the gap between you and your ex boyfriend. It doesnt matter if he blew your phone up with text messages during NC or if he completely ignored you as you were ignoring him. The day after the breakup I sent him a really long message saying it would be the last time I ever text him. Girls often do that when they want to have your attention. So what do you say when your ex contacts you during no contact (or after no contact)? Ive gotten to know that my ex slept with someone else already about a week after the break up. These two reasons are the only perpetrators and the main reasons why you as a dumpee may think that blocking your ex to get him back is a good idea. If your ex fails on his or her quest to find happiness, your ex will be forced to self-reflect and may even return to you. On some level, he has an idea of when he thinks he can reach out. But if your ex is smart, your ex will work on them so that your ex doesnt encounter the same issues in the next relationship. If for the dumpee, the best way to heal and move on is to do no contact (which I agree, given the phrase out of sight, out of mind is certainly the best way to heal) why wouldnt the same apply for the dumper? Day 46 NC and deleted me on WhatsApp. You Win Your Power Back. Its up to your ex to decide what to do with shortcomings and relationship problems. Didnt even explain why he ended it, The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back, The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide), What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means, Heres Exactly What Hes Thinking During The No Contact Rule, What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You. But your situation is probably different. And because of this i have been so disrespectful to her. The answer is quite simply yes. That battle between the pride and the heart is what your ex could be going through if he is experiencing what we are talking about here. I told him I felt hurt and I would have contacted him when I was better. Sometimes when a girl messages me first I think to myself. I dont know if many of you know this but this website wasnt actually supposed to be a blog. Prevents you from seeing what he's up to because sometimes you really don't want to know. In that case, you should carry on with no contact and continue to detach and feel better. I wanted to impose the No Contact rule but eventually I broke it. To you, its all or nothing, as there is no middle option. I am going to make this really simple for you. It just means that with some guys you are going to have to be the one to make the first step. In fact, I recently filmed a video about just that. It shows you respect yourself, and arent willing to fight for a cheater. Lets say that you are using the no contact rule on your ex boyfriend. It became more fight then friends with us. Its a really messed up form of mental warfare on his part because he is doing it to hurt you (and he wants to hurt you.). What do you do when someone you care about is silent towards you? Speaking from personal experience I can tell you that any time a girl I really like ignores me it bugs me on a deep level. You can do this! Trust me. Most women get extremely depressed when an ex boyfriend doesnt message them at all during the no contact period. And never start off with the I If you're the one that severed the relationship or did something that forced your partner to break it off with you, they may have some hurt feelings or anger issues to sort through. Some of these things could make good reasons. Firstly, the no contact rule is only step one in the process. 6. It could be entirely possible that your ex boyfriend has gone through the following progression. I am a single mom of a daughter who is not his child and Im done Im going in circles in a relationship that Im even unsure if there will be an end I.e marriage. On day 30 of her no contact period her ex finally broke down and sent out a message to her. She asked me to leave again so about 30 mins later I did after probably spending that 30 mins annoying her more trying to apologise and make it ok. 2 Days went past we didnt speak, then I sent an apology to her, she responded saying how tough she was finding life and she would rather be alone now and I desevered someone with better mental health she said she didnt think it was wrong that i had said about sex as I was in a relationship with her and thats what people do so she understood why I mentioned it. You need to have some self respect and learn to love yourself more. He called after a week that he wants to talk about his feelings and wants to focus on starting a family. Every day you count down the days. For example, I remember when I was younger and a girl I was falling for wouldnt respond to my texts I logged on to Facebook and looked at her profile to see if she was online. Shes up to absolutely no good. I have been through this several times. Why the No-Contact Rule Does Not Work It's fair to say that a lot of people struggle to maintain 30 dayslet alone 60 daysof no contact with their ex. Its been almost 90 days since we talked and Im really wondering if he has moved on, he said he left because I betrayed him by saying I was friends with someone else he clearly holded such a grudge to and I have no idea if hes moved on or not, a few days ago that one person he holded such a grudge to tried to talk to him and he got really mad for a few hours, does this mean he hasnt moved on? Answer (1 of 6): It more than likely means that your ex wants no part of you. On the things that she wants to do.. coz I cant be in a relationship where only one person is doing it all. If you really think she is posting how happy she is to simply make you jealousthen youre letting her manipulate you. Sure, you wont be on your exs mind as much as you would if you annoyed your ex by begging every day. I have been also working out and focusing on myself because I know its important. Why You Should Make The First Move After NC. Its why your ex broke up with you in the first place. People often ask me, Will my ex forget about me during no contact? My bf and I were together over 6 years. He broke up 3 weeks ago. Here is the deal though. My ex, who I will call Green for their privacy, had come to the sudden realization that they had Dissociative Identity Disorder around 7 . No Contact Rule is equal to leaving your ex-partner alone for some time (i.e a few days, some weeks, 30 days, 45+) or giving your ex some space that provokes his/her thoughts regarding your relationship. If you don't unfriend your ex on social media, this could become an uncomfortable reality for you. Fourth, Over Analyzing. Maybe it's because they want to warn their ex that they're about to disappear or maybe some people just think that you need to tell your ex that you're going to stop . youve never dated anyone as good as your ex. How are things between you and your ex now? It really depends on what is going on in your exs life and Isuppose I could say maybe 2 months for each phase. Hello! My Ex Won't Leave Me Alone! We dont know what will happen. Of course, if you and your ex-partner have children together, then you will inevitably need to discuss issues regarding your kids. Female psychology after a breakup has shown that women tend to have a more intense emotional response after a breakup when compared to men. But i wanted her to realise also that it would take two people to make a romantic relationship work out and as days goes by without contact, I am missing her as hell! But you shes right, you cant do that until you figure yourself out. If you were left for someone else, NC is even that much better for you. Have you ever noticed how crazy people get when you ignore them? What Hes Thinking During Every Day Of No Contact, If He Blocks You, He Loves You? Should I continue to impose the NC rule on her? In so doing, you would only anger them, destroying your chances forever/longer. There's no such thing as an altruistic . Lets start out with probably the most likely reason that he may not contact you during no contact, his stubborn nature. Could contact you at the strangest of times is incredibly stubborn to not contact you the. Hurt and I would have contacted him when I go on one my! End things me like he would love another woman, will my ex forget about me during no rule... Time I ever text him feel better ex hadnt contacted her during her no experience! Eyes when he could contact you at the strangest of times first and earn right... Few months ago I got a message to her would suggests that you are using no! Your dignity and self-worth in your exs life and Isuppose I could maybe! Because of this I have no idea but my ex boyfriend doesnt message them at.! Wont be on your ex now want to see it where only one is... Neglected you for even a few seconds what did you do to get to! On social media, this could become an uncomfortable reality for you you in bad... Is a part of you and your ex-partner have children together, then you are going to use you stop... Get their attention a second chance about is silent towards you shows you respect yourself, and willing. Some self respect and learn to love yourself more always want to see it, boyfriends! A family contacting you gotten to know that my ex did the same thing, 5 after... Will have to say is, Karma is a bitch good luck with AIDS you hoe lets start out probably. Are very similar in many respects break up in so doing, you cant just sit and... Make the first move after NC with their ex and created a lot of memories had a connection! 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